Anu ([info]azooey) wrote,
@ 2006-08-13 20:49:00
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Marriages were made in hell

Marriages, though not all of them, are bad. 

+ being short for the funtion of marriage, i.e. M(x,y)

1 Depressed person x + 1 Happy person y = 1 less Depressed x' + 1 less Happy person y'.  What a leveller!
(I'm ruling out the possibility of 2 depressed persons marrying. They simply should spare the kids the trauma. I'll leave you to decide the probability of two happy people marrying. No, why would someone wanna go screw themselves over for life, is not a question we're trying to answer)

Someone must have been either really bonkers or unforgivingly smart to have gone "*blink*, eureka! let's have marriage". Seriously, if there ever was a problem it was meant to solve, it must have been scarcity of land. Afterall, not everyone can have their own sweet mansion and live in too. Alone, I might add. 

Perhaps, we should consider other arrangements of sharing property - all friends should live together, with the exception that partners should never share a roof. The children, if they ever come, will join the community boarding school to find their own friends' circle. Ha! Now, why didn't they think of that earlier!?!


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[info]cyntalist
2006-08-13 03:59 pm UTC (link)
Of course, I'm biased on this subject -

I'm not sure how to put this but here goes...
I don't think "happiness" is a single point goal either in marriage or life. To quote from an old American sit-com, marriage (and I'm sure any realtionship) puts you in a state of bl-s-happiness - where happiness is only one of many emotional states. Sadness is one of the other states. I think what I'm trying to say is that happiness/sadness don't always neccesarily lie on the same axis and I'm blabbering about it while I do that.

So, while marriage may not do it for you, are you sure you want to knock it if it does it for me?

Besides, what makes you think community living will work for everyone? It's been tried often enough in various forms with varying degress of success just as marriage has.

No?

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[info]azooey
2006-08-13 04:33 pm UTC (link)
So, while marriage may not do it for you, are you sure you want to knock it if it does it for me?

Quite imaginably, the biggest resistance it would face is from society which thinks that the marriage framework works for it. Community living should, by no means, knock off the "right to marry".

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(Anonymous)
2006-08-14 02:49 am UTC (link)
Hmmmmm maybe 1 depressed person + 1 happy person = 2 happy people :p

So how is ur job at the fullerlife coming along? And what abt ur eeemba??

-vibhanshu

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[info]azooey
2006-08-14 03:31 am UTC (link)
1 depressed person + 1 happy person = 2 happy people

err...the study suggests otherwise, but i would so love to believe that.

me is as jobless as one can be, last few days - spending it at home chilling.

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[info]dianaparadise
2006-08-14 08:29 am UTC (link)
From my personal experience: 9 months of marriage = 2 very happy people + 1 baby on the way = happiness all around including the to be grandparents....

Love the new userpic.

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[info]azooey
2006-08-14 10:32 am UTC (link)
alright alright. marriage does work for some who gulp down buckets of thick luck syrup everyday for the first 5 yrs of their lives :) kidding! really glad that some of you have good cause to defend the tradition. I'm just an incorrigible skeptic.

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[info]priyatam
2006-08-14 05:30 pm UTC (link)
you will change ur perception too, one day :) (uve just not been lucky yet!)

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[info]azooey
2006-08-14 05:52 pm UTC (link)
One day? sure! Like the day after never.

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[info]priyatam
2006-08-15 04:31 am UTC (link)
trust me, you will.

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[info]fugney
2006-08-14 10:59 am UTC (link)
I am inclined to believe that there must be something about marriage that is self-sustaining, even if it makes lives miserable. Or else, it wouldn't exist in every society.

Hah. Just thought about how the same argument applies to oppression of women.

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[info]azooey
2006-08-14 05:53 pm UTC (link)
Hehee, love some of ur thoughts (like an old one abt a workaholic husband and now this one - opressed women heh!)

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(Anonymous)
2006-09-12 03:33 pm UTC (link)
I have a feeling that there is a lot of personal aspect into marriage then what we discuss here or conclude here. If you look at various suceessful ones and failed ones you will see that success comes where one has more tendency to accept things and not cause conflicts. The more egoistic a person becomes the more is the chances of failure of any relationship, be it marriage or even friendship. Just that in case of marriage one feels a bondage and a little issue can also lead to conflict as ppl stay together, it happens among roomates as well, so that way i refute the idea of social living, any person who is egoist will have issue with others, marriage is just one example, he may have issues with his parents as well, so the key is acceptance of the differences. Life would be happy, there are comflicts in this whole universe but it is still in the state of harmony, we are just too ignorant to learn from it :) . Now the case of depressed vs happy one, well if one is really happy s/he has to power to make others happy, else that happiness is just another peak where we keep osciallting in our journey of life, which one day will reach the bottom of depression as well, and again the peak of happiness.

Now a days most marriages have only one thing thats physical attraction and when that fades issues starts cropping up, we are too much like animals, when it comes to our urges, if we can just rise one level up from being an animal to being a human we can really understand what marriage could be. Kudos to all the happy couples. - TheCypher.

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[info]azooey
2006-09-13 10:36 am UTC (link)
you will see that success comes where one has more tendency to accept things and not cause conflicts.

I seriously doubt the logic of that. i havent had too much success, so i can only guess - that "accepting"(or "not causing conflicts") itself cannot be a recepie for happiness. i could "accept" only until my partner's balance runs out. Then the collapse would be inevitable.

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(Anonymous)
2006-09-16 03:30 pm UTC (link)
Well it certainly has to to be mutual. And happiness is something very personal, if you look for happiness in others you are never going to get that. You may get it for short time, but not a lasting one. What i am talking about is personal upliftment where one doesnt feel unhappy over small things. It applies to other person as well.
Agreed accepting is outcome, there is something else which makes you accept things, and one doesnt even feels that s/he is accepting. Its just too spontaneous.
You dont have to accept my logic :) you can have your own with your experiences. Just my views.

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(Anonymous)
2007-06-02 02:37 pm UTC (link)
Great journal. Post links to your journal also on http://www.bestofindya.com

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